Take My Mom, Please!
I was having lunch with a friend several months ago, when she got a call from her mother. After a few minutes of cryptic conversation on her cell phone, she hung up shaking her head. "I just hope it's not genetic," she said, smiling. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Oh, nothing. She just wants to know when I'm going to get married and give her a grandchild. She likes to point out that I'm not getting any younger."
Sara is a very busy writer, in her late thirties, living in Los Angeles, and her mom is scared to death that she won't live to see her grandchildren unless Sara gets married soon, and gets to work on it. Oh, and she can't marry just anyone. He has to be "a nice Jewish boy."
"She's right, of course," Sara confided. "He does have to be Jewish. I don't have the time to train a goy." She laughed out loud. "But I don't have the time to hang out at my neighborhood deli, either, just waiting for some nice single man to come in looking for some corned beef." Suddenly coy, she giggled, "Oh, I see you like corned beef. We must have a lot in common."
SWF Seeks SWNJB for Love, Marriage, and Family
Sara's problem is not unusual, of course. Whether or not you have a Jewish mom breathing down your neck, almost everyone these days has a demanding career, or other obligations, that make trying to create some kind of social life next to impossible. Having special requirements makes looking for a significant other even more of a challenge.
I suggested that Sara go online, and check out some of the Jewish dating and personals sites, or even go to a full-blown matchmaking service. She was very skeptical. She was not interested in trading winks and flirts with lonely geeks and/or cyber-perverts. I told her I was disappointed, because as much as he uses the internet for research and writing, she should know as well as anyone that she was harboring a long-outdated misconception of internet users in general, and of online daters in particular.
Who Knows. You Could Have a Good Time.
Well, it didn't happen that day, but soon I was able to get Sara to start poking around online for dating and personals services that cater to a Jewish clientele. She was very slow to take to it, and in fact I had to nudge her more than once, but she finally got around to actually going on a date with someone she met online. He was not Mr. Right, but he was a nice man, and she had a good time.
That is what finally convinced her that it might not be a complete waste of time. Eventually, Sara discovered that she could even go to a 'non-Jewish' dating site (don't tell her mother) and simply specify, in her profile, that she was looking for a Jewish man. Turns out, they're all over the place. Who knew?
No Tongue For Me, Thanks.
Her mom doesn't quite understand it, but just the fact that Sara is looking was enough to make it okay with her. Sara still hasn't found the "nice Jewish boy" that she's willing to take home to mom, but she does have a social life, and she's having a lot more fun these days. And, I have to admit, I'm feeling pretty smug myself. Plus, I'm a lot more knowledgeable about deli meats.
David M. Perkins writes articles, reviews, advice and tips on Relationships, Online Dating, Romance, Sex, Love and Gifts for ValiantHearts.com
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